Parents,

Many of you have asked to see a few papers that were scored 4s. These papers all have a strong lead, conclusion, great vocabulary and they focus on one moment. Many of our papers lose focus or start talking about the next day.

Please let me know if you have any questions!

The Jump of  Death

With no expression on my face I stared down at the pitch black endless hole.

                   The old mysterious well was smack dab in the middle of the overhang. I always wondered what was down there. “Dare you to go in,” one of my friends hissed. “You said yourself you wanted to know what was down there,” my friend enumerated. Although dares are pretty fun, I was terrified of the logs and sticks in there. I looked around me, trees, grass, and toilets got it. I just want to remember the environment I died in. I love proving people wrong, but on this one I hope I don’t prove myself wrong.

          I carefully lifted my leg waiting anxiously to go down. I was terrified of what might be. I snatched that thought and threw it away. My mind was racing with dreadful thoughts. I kept pushing them aside. Now I was completely focused on the well. My left leg was over the well. The part of my leg that was uncovered was hitting the cold stone that made up the well. I lifted my right leg with such caution like it was a new born baby. My body began to shake. People began to gossip. “Right leg over!” I kept telling myself. It took me 10 minutes to get that through my head. I am pretty hard to convince. I finally built up the courage to do it. My hands instantly grasped the sides of the well to keep me balanced. “Just do it! Don’t be a chicken!” I hissed to myself. Before I knew it as quick as a wink I slid my bottom off the side and I was off. “I’m going to die!” I rambled. I was about a couple feet off the ground. I went down like a speeding bullet. BOOM! My feet hit the wood. Or that’s what I thought I hit and what hit it. I was terrified to open my eyes. I wanted to prove them wrong, but I was scared they were right.

          Suddenly I looked below me and there was wood, and I looked above me and there were my friends. I was in the well! I couldn’t believe it. There was one thing in my mind that sent the bliss running away. “How am I going to get out?” I enumerated. “Oh! No!” my friends babbled.

          The emotions that day went from one to the other, but those emotions helped me reach my goal. That day I learned that perseverance pays off.